The Calls of Nature and Exams!

I tried, I failed.

I tried to stay calm for my B.Com exam. Well, I apparently couldn’t.

I have plucked out all my hair and the Nescafe jars’ are all empty.

Well, as I am the optimist always, now I can finally pose a challenge to my barber. Let’s see what he does with my hair now, now that I have none. None to colour, none to comb, all sacrificed over a bloody B.Com trial exam.

Since I am so well prepared, I plan to wear long stockings tomorrow for the exam with my legs knee deep in ‘Chits’, an imported Motorola walkie-talkie set to chat with my close buddies Gaurav Kothari and Vikram during the exam, try to fudge and get those elusive twosome to elicit some answers which I can jot down in my paper.

Well, apparently, it seems like I have failed in my preparations again.

What happened was this. Just before I was conjuring my ‘Chits’ this morning, I went in for a walk on the terrace. Staring at the Ursa Major and the Centaurus , I figured out an important fact of my life, one of the few unsolved mysteries of our times, it being that I have an exact chance of 0.65% of passing my exam.

And before I could know what was happening;
Plottt!

Yes, heaven had answered. Heaven had finally answered.

Heaven had answered in the form of a pigeon who had to choose no other place to answer the call of nature but the empty space above my shoulders [with no obvious reference to my brain]. My jazzy shirt spoilt, I decided to renounce everything.

So, I plan to go off to Ananda Spa in the Himalayas for a week free from worldly pleasures like examination to attain salvation there, rather than in my examination hall.

And I just hope someone can call my mom and convince her that I found my true calling and to let me go off to the Himalayas.