Friday, November 04, 2005

Celebrating the Uncelebrated

Nothing significant ever happens to me.

Ok, the dog down my street has a fetish to run after me, the ‘paan’ shop fellow near BASE offers me cigarettes when I ask for mint and cops keep asking me for licenses.

Now, that got me thinking. No, seriously, I did use the stairway to my brain this time.
Am I that sinister looking??? That’s the bloody paradox.

Am I that sinister looking?

Dogs running, cigarette offerings, cops catching. Why? Why me? For heaven’s sake, why??

It just doesn’t stop at that. The CD guys offers me the “stuff” incessantly, my principal thinks I have a second home on the benches of M.G.Road and most of all, people stare at me when I walk down the road humming the G- Group’s “Taliban Alla Alla”.

I must be sinister.

Let me start loving kids, loving the Moonwalk, hang my kids down the balcony, have a sister who ‘flashes’ at the Superbowl, and then, who knows, I might just get qualified to get a free plastic surgery too. Get a better face and move away from this sinister world.

The weather just makes it worse. It may be the moisture in the air, or maybe the Cubans are spraying Biochemical weapons from the air using aerosol cans(!!), but my nasty beard grows again in just 4 days. Too bad. It makes me look even more sinister.

Also, the remix version of the G-Group’s Taliban Alla Alla also doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere. I am using another sinister alias for this . Put your rotten tomatoes in your hand in honour of the one and only, DJ TJ.

TIP OF THE DAY

Some people have complained about a bad smell emanating from their computer screens on viewing this page. If your one of them, well, then that’s a technical error and should go away if you unplug your computer, pick up the monitor in your left hand, roll it over your fingers and try to juggle it while staring at a roach right near your little toe. If the monitor survives, refresh and the smell will be gone.

I suck!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

no no..you've got it all wrong. it has nothing to do with your face. its your hair that a problem. grow a mohawk, and you'll be accepted as one of "us". right now your hair just stands out man, making you a sort of rebel. the cops, the paan waalahs et al are attracted to these non conformists. grow a mohawk and blend in.

abhas1 said...

uhhh...mohawk?

anyways, you don't suck...you're just not accepted by society for being better than them!
The average, boring world can't accept someone being better than them!!

This happens to guys like us all the time...we ROCK!! (ha! in your face, world!)

Sataract said...

nice tip of the day i must say!!

Hoarse Whisperer said...

agree with satya :)

Anonymous said...

all you guys should agree with abhas1.
he's right.