Thursday, June 08, 2006

Paying For My Sins.

I’m not sure what it is about these librarians. I think they’ve all evolved into this strange new sub-species Homo Sapiens smile-and-your-dead or something.

I am acquainted with a few librarians, and not one has ever smiled, or exchanged even a “Hello” glance. Probably it’s something about me. Our school librarian always smiled, but I later found out that she had a huge crush on this friend of mine with who I generally was most of the time. She just loved that bloke, DJ, I shall call him. She waved of fines of Rs. 50 and upwards for him, her sweetheart. ( I know I’ll be killed next time I meet him.) She searched for every book he ever wanted to refer to. My spies even tell me she’s been to his house (highly classified and unconfirmed).

Nevertheless, I have never met with such luck. They are grumpy with me. Think of me as a pestering goon. Think I was born to pester.

And they always give a nonchalant response to whatever I ask.

Me: Good evening ma’am. How do you do?

Lib: Now what do you want?

Me: Er, do you have Lord of the Rings, perchance?

Lib: No.

Me: Er, do you have The Shannara Series then?

Lib: No!

Me: Oh, you should be having John Grisham, right?

Lib: No!

Me: Tintin?

Lib: No!!

Me: Eragon?

Lib: No!!!

Me: Shakespeare?

Lib: Yes!

Me: Charles Dic….yes? Yes? Where?

Lib: Search for yourself.

Me: Can you tell me how the books are indexed then?

Lib: No.

Phew. They pester me to no ends. I sat at the library for an hour. Searching for the book. Turns out they have quite a treasure there. I’ll be frequenting it more often now.

And then, they have this habit of talking in hushed tones so feeble, it’s like you’re at someone’s funeral.

Lib: Hush hush hush ppsss psss.

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am , I really didn’t get you. Could you please repeat?

Lib: Hush hush hush ppsss psss.

Me: (I bend closer) (A Bit louder) What??

Lib: Don’t you dare shout in the library!(Quite loud this time) I said, “did you sign in the register when you came in”.

Me: Oh….no. I’ll do that now.

And then, they are all so scholarly. A pair of glasses sit quite comfortably on all their noses. Like they have been there for eons. I once was so bold as to ask a old librarian to suggest some good books to read. And that was the best lecture I’ve ever got. He started, and except for a few gulps of fresh air, spoke at length in a monotone about how each needs to discover his own taste, genre by experience and not by an other man’s efforts.

I sighed in disbelief. And I sighed again.

They get all their lives to read, and read they do. And a lot. And wise they get. They shun the other species soon enough. But they are all amazing. Eccentric odd balls. But amazing people. Just one advice: Stay away.

3 comments:

abhas1 said...

I better find out if my librarian has a crush on my friend too...

Jang!! said...

Yes, you had better.
It really helps, you know. You can keep books for months that way..

khadli said...

oh... so true... all the librarians i have ever been in contact with have always turned out to be grumpy!! quite a put off. but, i really don't wish them to go the other extreme either and starting having crushes on us since we belong to the same sex...