Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Innovations...

Weird pinwheels that stop as soon as you step on it. Flashy, colourful lights that remind you of a discotheque, enclosed in a 2x2 box. Weird guttural noises emanate from them, inviting you closer, and stop as soon as you step on it. A hypnotist’s wheel rotates lazily, round and round and round, inviting you even closer, to step on it and stare into the mysterious labyrinths of the future.

Yeah, they are the Weighing Machines, found at almost every railway station and bus stop and innocuously absent from every where else.

These weird machines which I’ve always likened to a more colourful guillotine are the strangest of gadgets ever invented. They hiss, clink, clank, have neon lights that tempt people, and at the offering of a Rupee coin, sputter out a card.

These machines are guilty of having made millions of children cry, children who have begged and begged with heartless parents for a rupee. Always wrong, never right, they are the ultimate, most fascinating machines ever invented.

These machines are endowed with miraculous psychedelic powers, powers that hypnotize minds against the worthlessness of the machines. They are also known to possess artificial intelligence, intelligence which the scholars at MIT having been trying to develop for years, but already perfected in these machines.

Displaying weights in kilograms, they always tend to offshoot by a few 10’s of kilos. And the back sides of the cards are the most fascinating part of the machine.

I shall quote an example.

Spit into the spittoons only.
Your Future for today:

SUDDEN travel and change of place may be imminent. Be prepared.

YOUR LUCKY NUMBER : 13.

Now, how the machine knows that I’ve come to the railway station to travel and not to mine Plutonium, I do not know. Maybe it is the artificial intelligence bequeathed on the machine.

Further, the machine is known to accept all coins, 1’s, 2’s and 5’s without complaining. Often, it even screams in help if a slightly obese person alights on it (It may be a technical malfunction too. I do not know.)

Next time you go to the station, try one, and wonder at the ingenuity of modern man.(Or woman).

5 comments:

Andalite said...

I've checked mine for 5 bucks at Garuda.. they give the height too! And the best part is i lost 10 kilos! No it is right cause ive been eating 1 meal a day for the past month and still have another week or so to go (Lent)

Jang!! said...

You survive on a meal a day??

Too good man... I need something to eat all the time...

*munches into the last Munch at home.

Sataract said...

i like being overwieght !!!!
and i hate my gym!!!

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abhas1 said...

forget predicting your future, it already knows your weight! aaaaaaaa!

:P